On a Positive note

I have received a lot of things in Kaden's Memory and I LOVE them. Thank you to all who have done something for me. They a great and I actually smile when I look at the pictures :)

Kaden's Mommy

Rapid City and Easter

I went to Rapid City yesterday, it was hard but I made it through!! (Kaden passed away in the NICU in Rapid). I am actually crying more now as I write this than I did yesterday. It really help going with a friend who really understood, she has not lost a child but she has lost both her parents. It was hard driving down streets and knowing the hospital was just on the next block or walking through stores remembering that it was where I went during shift changes. When it was time to eat we picked a restaurant that I had not gone to the three weeks I was in Rapid with Kaden. I still remember almost every second of being in Rapid for those three weeks. If I would have known I would have only had three weeks with my son I would have spent more time at the NICU with him. The doctors would tell me to go rest and stuff but maybe I shouldn't have. I missed out on things I will never get back.

Easter was hard. I just kept thinking about how Kaden would have been 15 months old and he would have been able to have is first egg hunt! It was also Breanna's birthday. Birthdays are still hard. I mean Breanna is 18 now and it is still hard just thinking about how Kaden doesn't get an 18th birthday. He will never be a senior in high school and do all the things I am watching my cousins do now. I try to be positive around my family but it doesn't stop my heart from hurting.

Kaden's Mommy