Meeting New People

So I went out last night and I had a good time. I spent time with my family and friends. I didn't meet any new people which I think made the night easier. Whenever you meet new people you have to do the getting to know you thing and the first things that always come up are "Are you married/dating someone?" and "Do you have any kids?" First question is easy. No and I am not looking to be either. I am just not in a place where I want to be dating. I am having a hard enough time dealing with my own feeling to have to worry about someone else's. Sometimes it sucks dealing with the grief of losing my son on my own but anyone I would be dating would not understand either because Kaden wasn't their son. My family is great and pretty supportive and I know they lost someone they love too but it is different when it is your child. A parent should never have to bury their child.

Second question is a little harder. Well not harder but leads to harder questions. Yes I do have a son, then comes the "How old?" I have answered that two different ways "He would be 15 months old" and "Well he passed away when he was 22 days old." Both answers bring on the awkwardness. No one knows what to say and I don't know what to tell people to say. Nothing is going to make me feel better but they shouldn't feel bad for asking, I mean how are they suppose to know? Then do you continue to talk about it or do you change the subject? I have had people then ask what happened and I have had people change the subject. I don't know which one is better. I do suggest that if you want to ask more questions make sure you ask the person if they feel like talking about it and if they don't want to talk about it don't push it. Sometimes people will tell you more about their child and what happened with out you having to ask. I know I have.

Truthfully I love talking about my son but there are days that I can't do it without crying. I love when people I know and who know Kaden bring him up and tell me they miss him and love him and tell me stories about him or even just a quick "thinking about Kaden." I mean even just a quick text out of nowhere. It lets me know he is not forgotten. (This is one of those examples of knowing something in your head, but reassuring your heart)

Kaden's Mommy